You Are My Life

One great song. I was keeping myself from listening to it until I find the Right Man. I never wanted to listen to it through. I regarded it a special song. A song dedicated to lovers alone. A song that speaks my mind to the man I love. "You are my Life" by Umm Kulthum. I wanted to wait. It would be like a bonus, a special present crowning my love. And yet, today ... of all days ... just on the eve of the Valentine's Day, I was forced to listen to it over and over again. It was that cab driver that insisted on listening to it. I asked, ordered, almost begged for him to stop the song. He was astonished. "My child, how come you, young generation, never like such a miraculous voice?" "You don't understand," I wanted to scream, "such a miracle I wanted to enjoy with someone special." "Miss, please reconsider. You'll fall in love with Umm Kulthum once you've heard that one. Everyone does."

I sat back. Looked out of the window to the road full of faces. I listened. Deeply and almost floating with the music and lyrics. How disappointing! Here is another Valentine's Day. It's been years since the day Fate thought it was necessary to take my only love from me. It was in February, too. On the 22nd of February. About 5 years back. It took me forever to move on. I thought I was never gonna live another day. But here I am. Dreaming of falling in love AGAIN ... with the right one AGAIN.

A year ago, I watched an episode of the TV show "Lost". There was that guy called Desmond. He read all Charles Dickens' works. All but one. "Our Mutual Friend". He kept that novel till he feels the end is near. His end.

Today, I remembered that Desmond. By preventing myself from listening to that song, I thought I was going to meet Mr. Right again. But that stupid cab driver dashed all my dreams and hopes. I was left with the feeling that this is no age of miracles. You have to accept what life offers you. No choice. Otherwise, you'll be left with that agonizing feeling. Hurt. Disappointed. Lonely. Anguished. Longing for something (or someone) you know is never gonna come your way. This is one more thing I have to get over. Let go. And move on.